Do you know what it’s like to have a shadow?
If you think it is so… well I’ll have you know;
That’s not the shadow of which I speak.
I know of a shadow so skinny and narrow,
Can’t have been cast by me, it’s far too shallow.
It has no eyes it has no head,
If it weren’t for the talking I’d think it were dead.
It’s definitely blind if I needed more proof
No eyes, and even less perception of the truth
It frankly fails to fit the mould,
Trying as hard as it might to hold
On to both feet where a shadow should connect,
It only touches my right and grasps for my left.
Shadows are not meant to be alive.
What on earth was I thinking?
To whisper in a shadows ear the words that it can never hear
Just to give it an illusion of life
And hope it would find another body.
But no, I have to put up with this shadow
It’s more rooted in reality than the dark twilight
where it should be.
And the appearance of mind?
No more than a philosophical zombie.
But still… Can it hurt me…?
This shadow imitates more than my actions;
Actions don’t hurt me, no no…
This shadow is more of a reflection;
Actions with signs of emotion, oh no…
It plagiarises my actions, It steals my words,
It adopts my taste in music, It deifies my ideal girls.
I wonder when this shadow will realise
The fact that it has it’s own pair of eyes
And stop trying to reconnect with mine.
I wonder if that will be a good thing
A clone of me being set free and going on it’s way
Not mature enough to handle what it holds in it’s head
It may very well know all that I know some day
But I’ve got experience on my side instead
Will it be good? To be me competing with myself and I.
My Shadow may not want to let go
Might make life a deadlier show.
I keep my actions and thoughts closer now;
The shadow trying hard to reflect
That which I came to expect
And planned all along.
“I am stubbornly me”
The evidence to the contrary
And the absolute irony
Can be seen by everyone,
Everyone, but you,
You, my shadow;
Alex Herlihy – December 2009