Loyalty

2016-01-04-1451947020-1057181-Betrayal4edde75f206fe-thumb[1].jpgI will fight for you
Because you are my friend
If anyone tries to hurt you
I’ll be there to defend

It sickens me to see how sad you are
Come into my world, be brave, don’t fret.
They defame you while we watch from afar
But I’ll stand up for you, never forget.

Why did I bother?

I will not fight you
I value you more than that

Why do you fight me
I thought you were a friend
After all my trust and loyalty
Is this how it’s going to end?

It sickens me to hear how happy you are
You show no signs of guilt or regret
and defame me while I watch from afar
So am I a friend, or did you forget?

Or maybe you never cared anyway

get out of my life
get out of my life
get out of my life
get out of my head
I want you dead.

Alex Herlihy – 2010

One Day

na_pali_haven__sky_town__by_keenahmee_dak6sub-fullview[1]

Dawn was when I encountered a light
And turned my gaze to the rising sun
And paused to ponder my painful plight
And fought my own thoughts on what is right
While loading the light into my gun.

Noon brought me rumours from which to run
But I stood tall and let my fear fly
This was a scheme of pure perfection
For after my bloody job was done
I would be the only one to cry

Dusk demonstrated that secrets die
There’s no poker-face I can not tear
I’d caught the soul of he who would fry
Twas time for fists rather than my eye
And the final moment to prepare

Night without stars is eclipse most rare
And so startled was I at the sight
Dropping aim from the man in the chair
I again asked myself what is fair
Dawn, Noon, Dusk, Night; One day, fight or flight?

Alex Herlihy – 2010

Cold Nostalgia

6f78e67723857a7a3446ac9d99a3414c[1].jpgI step out the door into the frost
Walk once more to the fountain of loss.
Memories haunt every corner on the way
Hiding in these trees that the wind would sway

Against the grey clouds and white sky
I can’t help but let my imagination sigh.
I’m walking through an Autumn tunnel
And standing in a wet winter puddle

To the left is my third school
Desolation brings a breeze cold; not cool.
The grounds; abandoned. The gates; locked.
But my memories would have this scene mocked

I see children, wearing the blue of the day
Laughing and running their childhood away
A rather stark contrast to this black I wear now
I still smile to see a uniform as I glance down

I’m at a cross in the road covered by leaves
On the right is a place for someone who believes
To my left leads another tunnel of trees
But the evergreen conceals darker memories;

An image of friendship confronts my eyes
Friendship caught in a walking web of lies
It disappears into the darkness and distance
Leaving behind loyalty, trust and innocence.

I bend to pick up these pieces of past
Why is it that these virtues never last?
Why did friendship have to walk behind
Lust embracing a love of my mind?

I drop the naive back on the pavement
Ignorance shatters and secures my only repayment
I’m walking on without looking behind
For if I did… I wonder what I would find.

I lived in that house. I know this road.
Still the same lawn; ever un-mowed.
There’s the park where I used to fly
On swings so high you could touch the sky.

I look to the other side of the street
To see three who “by coincidence” did meet
Smiles, laughter and completely alive
I blink and let the image die

Onwards, to the fountain, I’m almost there
This is the big one for which I prepared.
A circle of significance, clock of no time
This hunk of metal hides meaning behind grime

The image is so strong this time around
That my whole body lifts itself off the ground
And I find myself walking through twilight rain
To the overflowing fountain from a train.

The path is deserted; Everyone has found cover
Alone I am walking, but wait, there’s another
A beautiful girl radiating red sunshine
Confronted with her, the weather seems fine

She smiles, walking towards me with arms extended
I walk towards her feeling as if time had just ended
We fall into each other and on the spot embrace
While the freezing rain falls; soaking her smiling face

But we don’t mind. Just stand still, holding on
Once over this moment will be forever gone
I close my eyes and enter a void of bliss
The world’s best kiss doesn’t compare with this

I can feel a cold wind licking my cheek
The amazing feeling begins to grow weak.
I wake up to find the sky still grey
Still that same dreary winters-mid-day

Memories can bend a chain but not break one
To break a chain requires something more of a gun.
With that in mind I turn, walk and climb
Find the glass bridge and recall a crime.

Lust’s lying spider smiles as he holds close a close friend
I wish to ignore what I saw, but can’t even pretend.
She stood still while with most gentle caress
The damned deadly Demon her beautiful body did undress.

I’m watching my memory be murdered once more
The past includes images that strike at my core.
Trust turned to lust while loyalty and love were just lies;
Nothing of this nostalgia retains purity to my eyes.

Time to learn, turn and leave this place
Walk back, wipe the rain from my face
Back through Hornsby, Normanhurst and Wahroonga;
Through the lies and lost love. What cold nostalgia.

Alex Herlihy – 2010

I Hate You

seven-last-words-church-of-god-in-christ-jesus-vNBnzj-clipart[1]I opened up my heart to you
I opened up my mind to you
I revealed all my weaknesses to you

Then you went and fell in love with me
But I your best friend? It wasn’t to be
Through my rejections you came to hurt me

And then I turned my back on you
So now I “present” my back to you
But what are you going to do?

Do what damage you will as I know
This is to be the final blow
And I am prepared to take it

Once more I reveal my memories to you
One final time I show my heart to you
Again I open my windows of weakness to you

So hit me.
And then I can finally be free of you.

Alex Herlihy – 2010

Winter Formal

wintermemorie-6592[1].jpgWe were standing there one winters day
Me and Ba and Shank and Ray
“The seats are wet”, “I know hey”
Oh look there’s Scott, “His hair is so gay”

There was a time where I would have defended
Raised up my arms and cried most offended
Scott is a friend “Hey stop it you guys”
“Give it up with the slander and lies”

But no not today oh no no no way
Scott is the reason the sky is so grey.
I look left to déjà vu this dreary day;
For fate I have a debt to repay.

Ironic, how he’s no longer my friend
There’s no doubt how this is going to end.
Should I try to correct the fault?
Let my hard feelings out of that vault?

Yet I can no longer trust Scott, so I refuse.
Andrew Semler has been naught but bad news.
He has hit my moral event horizon on
the side which sends our friendship long gone

He’s made the mistake you don’t make twice
The kind of promise I won’t take thrice
He’s entered the game and stolen the dice
My poker face now is a cold mask of ice.

He knows I’ve played this game before
And I’ll not lose again; this time it’s war!
I have confidence either way for once
Security in my success against this dunce

I’m married. I simply can’t lose
My loving wife will join me on the cruise
So I’m not competing for a partner
Not searching for a happily ever after.

All I want is to ruin Scott’s dreams
And do it all with my smile like a beam.
Yes I’m a bastard, a horrible fiend
I will no longer tolerate Scott on the scene

I write it all with a touch of guilt
But that’s good, it’s how I’m built
There will be no regret by the time I am done
Only plenty of guilt with which to have fun

Already the emails have found themselves sent
The third vertex already finds herself bent
It seems like an early success
But I am not so easy to impress

My power on the internet has only grown stronger
My stalking resumé grows longer and longer
I can see all that has exchanged between
My favourite nerd and my Redheaded Queen

At the slightest hint of love and wonder
I will ruthlessly tear their hearts asunder
And it’s none of this from Jealousy, yet.
It’s the nerve of this shadow in every respect

I’ve fought against him for a whole year
It’s time for the right words to enter his ear.
This happens to be the most fitting way
To get across what I’ve wanted to say:

You are not you; you are stubbornly me
And I’m sorry to destroy your heart, honestly
But if it takes such murder to make you see
Then I have no regrets; Let it be.

Alex Herlihy – 2010

Confessions

failure-edited[1].jpgYou do… do you?

Oh god how much hurt a lie can do
My mind was torn everytime I spoke those words
“No, I don’t love you”

What I meant was “I can’t love you”
It was said with a sense of paradox too
Because it was exactly what I wanted to do.

Exactly what I ‘needed’ to do
In order to extract the key to your heart
And allow me to love you.

Alright alright alright yes I loved you
I had to hide it and it hurt
But what else was I to do?

You flew from those with love on their; “To do”
But I wouldn’t have that be me
Oh no… oh no damn you.

At first it seemed to work with you
I still uncovered your feelings
But fixing them I was not in a position to do

Yet there was nothing I wanted more to do!
Oh God knows I wanted to
God knows I tried to help you

You love me too do you?
I was so sure…
Really? Really? You do?

You do? Do you? You do?
I remember you, do you remember me?
Do you? You do? Do you?

You don’t… Do you.

Alex Herlihy – 2010

Train Ride

800px-GO_Train_sunset[1].jpgIn the one hour past dawn, freezing cold
I wore nothing. You wore Black.
Was it your practicality? There was no light for absorbing sunheat
Could it have been your mind? Grief at yet another holiday
The station was warm enough to me. All the smiling faces,
Children wrapped up in the warmth of their innocence
The loving arms of warm ignorance; A smiling mother
Using her whole body to shield the future
from the cold world.
What was behind that smile?
Fear, uncertainty, love
But most of all, protection.
Your mother smiled in the same way
And you felt for the arms of your father.
A blind master of the many colours she commands
Her eyes reflected the black back not to what she saw
Only to herself.

My mask kept me warm.
All through the shivers and goosebumps
All I ever needed was my head.
And warmth enough to insist
“I’m not cold”

The train came and went within a minute
Enough time to exchange a merry goodbye
Time to see a body of smiles
To see a face of resignation
And the sadness in her eyes.
For the whole minute, you waved to your father.

On the train you slept.
Restless, you curled yourself up, unrolled,
Got into a tangle, not once did you look comfortable
But I stayed silent, watching, thinking.
A spider once told me “A simple arm over the shoulder
can go a long way” to spin the web further.

Silent and blind.

What a way to set up for tragedy
I might have been wearing blue, but
“I’m not cold”
Yet, where my arm lay said otherwise
You were warm to touch, comfort in the air.
So why were you shivering?
I felt you warm when you felt cold
“I’m not cold”

I sat next to you for seven hours
Awake or not, Asleep or not
I had eyes for the scenery
I couldn’t help it
The people around us were too interesting
I chuckled as they guffawed
Smiled at their slang
Made the world rhyme with every action they made
But the most unchanging, beautiful view
would not have been the same without you.
The world rushed past the window
I gave it a glance or two
But my mind was focused on you.
Your mother has been aiming you at God
Choose your father and touch the trigger.
Oh how I wanted to hug you, hold you, help you
but never love. A lie became the truth.
“Lean on me” the three word poem in my mind
Three simple words, held back inside
Snuggle, cuddle, hold, hug

Sleep.

You tossed and turned, dreaming of God knows what.
My tiredness only wanted your rest,
My inaction was silence, observation, thought.
Philosophers may understand the world
But they aren’t the people who change it
Warm ignorance escaped my gaze and fell to you again
I waited and waited,
expecting to see a memory of the spider
playing with his prey
play out again.
But No face-to-face revelation occurred.

I wanted to give you warmth, comfort, and help
But I never gave myself the opportunity because
“I’m not cold”

Alex Herlihy – 2010

Unfinished Poetry Fragment

At first, it was love.
My more logical side was always shouting “Slow down! Slow down!”
But the barely audible, back of my head still managed to win my devotion.
Someone who stays silent slays both ignorance and intelligence in a single stroke
The quiet ones know best, don’t they.
Don’t they…?

It was love.
I, A Lex.
I, Above the law.
I, A clockwork orange.
My creative and destructive impulses
Forcibly repressed
To make me quite presentable as an all-around acceptable member most respectable in our school society.
I used to engage in violence, revel in the fight,
It was Blood, guts, gore and glee! Until the doctor set me right.
So with classical and chilli-sauce, A repression of my drives
I share the name and I share the pain;
I am a clockwork orange.
And yet… it all comes down
To the milk I drink in the morning.

It was love!
My milk was neglected.
My drugs left untouched.
All my long repressed emotions and desires
Bubbling, exploding, escaping!
I was swimming in freedom!
Freedom out of control.
My heart was torn out and dangled before me
To show me what I had done
Reveal my love for what it really was
only an addiction.
As my life fell back upon the milk
Punishment was madness, insanity.
Withdrawal symptoms ironically.
The longing to return to the place where I belong
grew weaker and faint through time
To the point where indifference replaced the love
A faint annoyance at the blindness in my old friends minds.

Alex Herlihy – 2010

Seven Words

It was quite an absurd occurrencedownload.jpg
which gave rise to reason for
seven words of swift deterrence
Which I’ll now relate through more

The first word can be used to shout
and identify who is who
The word we would be lost without
It allows me to talk to you

The second word was my weapon of choice
Inverse osmosis, so give a bored blink
But it’s meaning should be given voice
What worth is the the chance to think

The third word was the same as the first
And this time with less glee
The subject couldn’t be any worse
If I know you’re talking about me.

The fourth word was almost a pet hate
To me it’s all a show
So throw me maths and throw me fate
I’ll believe, but never know

The fifth word was a name actually
The glowing opposite of death
Someone who I love to see
She is addressed as Beth

The sixth word was the same as the third
But following the other five
Apprehension flies high with the birds
Pointing my heart toward knives

The seventh word was a final blow
Of what I want and won’t
See it only went to show
What you can do but don’t

Alex Herlihy – 2010

Swimming Carnival Bogans

0ff06e0a0bc5340c98d7fa63004f0dcf[1]I sat down at the swimming carnival today
Searching for rangas with the ranga that is Ray
And had fun watching the buff, the bluff and the gay

Laugh at Diow trying to dress up as a doll
Hear “If you can’t swim you’ll be paying me a toll”
Seems that English have the announcements under control

So it’s time to buff up for the tug of war.
Everyone jumps in as the rest of the school snore
“This is so rigged, they can’t even touch the floor!”

We’ve won! It’s the end! Make that two
We have the rope in the shape of a horseshoe
Yet even with both ends we fail to drag it through

Oh great I can’t see, it must be the splashing
The carnival equivilant of a good chest bashing
We want to rub in the fact that we gave them a thrashing

I usually watch and laugh, spy and hide.
But not today, no sitting out; I enjoyed the ride
It’s so strange to be in it rather than off to the side

The Asians have whipped out their magic cards
The canteen still hasn’t started serving lard
And of course, “Dennis! Why are you such a retard?”

Dennis just takes it all with a grin
Oh crap, the tiredness is kicking in
As I throw my first bogan in the bin

I wake up to find chaos and fun
Looks like Randall found himself a gun
I hear someone behind me scream “Run bitch run!”

I turn to find all the black guys laughing
Some small year seven has just been sent flying
A certain teacher wants lunch upon punishment of dying

I sit up to watch the peruvian wave
A random year eleven who’s having a shave
The year seven who fails, but was extremely brave

Davies getting shot in the wrong direction
As Derek displays his pokemon card collection
And Ridley finds cricket at the point of inflexion

The second bogan is getting run down.
As Warrigal recieves the carnival crown
Luckily this year no year sevens drowned.

Alex Herlihy – 2010