What were the odds?

I look at the overhead projector;
A list of names each in their own sector.
There is one that’s strangely familiar
and it sounds eerily similar,

To a name I had forgotten long ago
The name of a girl I once did know.
I slowly turn my head around
As I look back my eyes uncloud

They come to rest on a face
and it was at a very fast pace
that it became much more familiar
and started to look eerily similar,

To the face of a girl I once did know
and was my friend six years ago.
She answers a question with her voice,
and I finally remember! Inside I rejoice.

How on earth could I forget?
That amazing girl, “Karla Burnett”
She’s been at Hornsby since year seven
And I only found out in grade eleven!

I travel home in amazement and wonder
This was too much of a happy blunder
Doubt… is it too good to be true?
Uncertainty… is it really you?

Because what are the odds
that these XORs and MODs,
could bring me at last
to this ghost from my past?

Of course something had to go wrong
I had known her for surprisingly long
But MY face was not recognised
a memory evading her magical eyes

She did not remember me!
A Six years corrupted memory.
For three weeks I lay low
How on earth to let her know?

At last I could stand it no more
I drop all I know to the floor.
I don’t know if it has any effect
Until I have a ticket to collect

I fail to communicate exactly what I need
To the ticket-teller taking the money I feed
But someone stalks up from behind
Someone who has the words I can’t find

With a grin
Karla conveys the correct choice
I smile within
“Thank you… for being my voice”

We all sit comfortably, talking on the train
Repression of a question at back of my brain
Somehow the discussion turns to the past
I meet her eyes and know it’s time at last;

Time slowed down as I finally let it free
“I remember you, do you remember me?”

Alex Herlihy – 2009

karla@2x[1]

The Journey is more Important than the Destination

I ran, I ran so far awayokalinichenko-sports-running_u-l-ptdii20[1].jpg
Oh how far I ran that day
No obstacles came my way
Before me a long path lay.

I did not in the slightest care
that the path was a circle
I could go as fast as a hare
or as slow as a turtle

and it would make no difference
How fast or slow I run
speed is of no consequence
The reason? There is but one:

I have to run as far as I can
An insidious curse has been placed upon me
The destination is not important
But I would die if not for the journey

There is a demon in my chest
And it will not let me rest
Until I have seen the whole road
Achieved that state of beast mode

It is momentum that cannot last
A state that is ludicrously fast
It lets you move at a speed
Sure to put you in the lead

But this is impossible to attain
I wanted it once, if only for fame
I travelled to see the speed king
Demanded that he tell me one thing

How on earth I run that fast
when my muscles will not last
The speed is physically impossible
making it extremely desirable

This was a god whose time I was wasting
He laughed and set the ground shaking
“You would have to earn it, this is MY power
I am not Prometheus. I will not drop the fire”

I should have backed down
But instead I wore a frown
“I can do anything you demand
Run on water, swim on sand

I have flown without wings
Around the devil I run rings
I have seen the center of this earth
and I understand life’s true worth.

There is nothing that I fear
I have kept my enemies near
I am as powerful as the thunder
I could have you torn asunder

Unless you grant me my only wish
you will become inferior to a fish
And you know I will make sure of it
When delivering revenge I do not quit”

Only then did I see my mistake
I gasped and turned to escape.
The sky exploded the clouds came down
Turning sepia, everything went brown.

The sea rushed towards me
A wave of a million swords
Each one laughing with glee
Music of the most evil chords

The mountains rose higher
The forests moved around
The deserts became fire
Heaven fell to the ground

I was swept up onto a rock
Higher then all else I perched
So there I did take stock
Below me reality lurched.

The voice returned, it made me tremble
It was so powerful, and too terrible.
“You are nothing to the likes of me!
You dare question my authority?”

This was overwhelming. He was so strong
If I keep this up I’ll be dead before long.
Tears fell, I knew this was the end
I collapsed to the floor, my legs didn’t bend.

Suddenly there was silence
But his voice was in my head
It whispered away my defiance
And swept out all my dread.

“You want to run that fast
Even if your muscles won’t last?
I will not give up the secret
You yourself must go and find it

You must run for all eternity
Faster then me? Uncertainty.
But run hard enough and you will find
The thing that has plagued your mind

But I have made it harder to win
For you now have a demon within.
You will not stop you will not rest
until you have accomplished the quest.

But have some fun, enjoy the journey
Of beautiful things you will see many.
Now go and run as far as you can
Never forget that you are just a man.”

I knew what I had to do
Run and run over fields of blue
Run up mountains run down stairs
Run through the evilest of lairs.

Running and running until I see
The revelation that sets me free
The secret of travelling so fast
That future becomes present and past.

But this demon prevents all
It is a great physical wall
That stops me from running fast
Because my chest becomes glass

Just that extra bit of speed
and my innards will shatter
Every time I feed the need
That demon makes me splatter.

How can I discover the answer
when I cannot run like a panther?
Beast mode was already hard enough
Now I’m completely out of puff

But I know how to beat my demon
I will put an end to his screaming
If I simply run for a long time
This will remove his fowl grime.

Once he’s gone I will be free
I will run at full capacity
And at that speed I will find out
the elusive secret without a doubt!

Until then I must wander and roam
I must run. And run without a groan.
Speed does not matter, only distance
I’ll give this demon full resistance.

I mark that day down in my head
That day I could have been dead
I ran far, I did not wait
So far the trip has been great

I’ve seen a lot since then
and I would do it all again
The demon still lives inside
And I almost don’t mind.

That demon is why I’ve seen all this
He’s the reason that I run in bliss
Through the fields of red snow
Caves where we don’t normally go

The great pools of starlight
The rolling hills of fire
Coal heaps that shine bright
The sacred sun spire

Out of the realm eternal
and into the lair infernal
The green beaches of purgatory
The places found in a story

I don’t really care where it is I go
When I run the world puts on a show
Why run fast when there’s so much to see?
I’m enjoying this endless journey.

But at some point I will beat
the demon sticking to my feet.
It is my mission to run this road
at the speed known as beast mode

I will take this assignment
with no hesitation
The journey is more important
than the destination

Alex Herlihy – 2009

Eating a bogan at short break

Eating a bogan
eight minutes at short break
rangas

Alex Herlihy – 2009

Curry Jack

Oa22b1958299ac7f5b23bb98a0b58ea97[1].jpgh no it’s Curry Jack
The guy who is totally wack
He gets high on smack
I’d be happy to see his back

The worlds biggest dickhead
He hangs with the gangs
Bashing kids till they bled
Drinking the blood with his fangs

Driving others to suicide
and laughing at their fate
He would enjoy genoicde
and gladly turn on a mate

But of friends he had none
It’s a good thing he had no gun
School shootings are his kind of thing
We’d all be dead before a bell could ring

I turned up at school this year
To news that produced a tear
Tears of joy of course
No one felt any remorse

Curry Jack has left our school
We were too smart and he was too cool
Being the biggest fish in a small pond
That’s the life of which he was fond

A feast was scheduled but never held
But we didn’t care, this was too good
Curry Jack is gone! Our fears are quelled
Time to take down that fort of wood

Jack is now a penno peep
He sits with the common sheep
He now gets herded from class to class
Smashing windows and breaking the glass

He will not be missed this day
That boy with a heart of black
And so it pleases me to say
Good bye Curry Jack

Alex Herlihy – 2009

Osmosis

36799eecddf334aff3ba8457289edd26[1].jpg

This word

This word osmosis
It sounds so awesome.
But its meaning is piss;
The definition of boredom.

Green mushroom clouds
are brought to mind
and firework shrouds
I do hope to find.

Red water, purple rain;
the essence of dreams
which can destroy all pain.
But this is not what it means:

“Osmosis is the diffusion of water
through a semi-permeable membrane.
When the plastic suffers pressure
Aqua pura goes down the drain.”

How could that be more boring?
It lacks any trace of imagination,
It’s sure to get you snoring,
My colours don’t even get a mention!

What a massive waste of a word.
To this I say “screw you science!
You transformed gold into turd
and killed this word, Osmosis.”

Alex Herlihy – 2009

Epistemology

3[1].jpg

Belief

How do I know that you are really there?
How can I be sure you have a brain under that hair?
For all I know your skull is full of air!
To believe you don’t exist is only fair!

Even if I got inside your mind
I don’t think that I would find
A revelation that sets me free
For I’m in your mind; You are now me!

When I say “Blue”, you might hear “Red”
Where I see raging fire, you see a cold bed
I don’t know what you hear when I say “Red”
And it’s all because I can’t get into your head.

This uncertainty has occupied me
Ever since the age of three
The idea that I am all alone
In the kingdom without a throne

As a toddler I was the king
And of course I knew everything
But one day I looked at mums face
I asked the question that put me in place

Being young the words came out wrong
I had lost mum before very long
The question falling upon her ear?
“How do I know you are really here?”

My own loving mother may not exist,
No matter how much I’ve been kissed.
At only three years old I had faced the idea
That I am the only one far and near

And “Impossible” you surely say
But even you may wake up one day
And find that you are stuck in life’s play
Where only you can exist in any way

Because there is no way to make absolute certain
That someone else is behind the unknown curtain
How can you be sure they are really there?
Senses don’t prove that anyone is anywhere

Even if you can hear and see them,
Even if you Taste, smell and feel them
There is no way you can truly know
Whether it’s all part of your mind’s show

Reality is what you make of it
The imagination immaculate.
It is all contained in my head
And so I wonder, could I be dead?

If I am the only one that lives,
That is death for what it gives.
The mind is a lonely place
Almost like living in space

For all I know I do live up there,
On Mars or Saturn or god knows where.
One plus one may equal three
Everything is a possibility

Science and maths are as bad as religion
Proven fact today may tomorrow be beaten
Humans know nothing for nothing is certain
The world was once flat, it had been proven

I would not be sane with such theories in mind
So I have found a way to keep myself blind.
A concept that I borrow from religion,
Promises to keep me as unaware as a pigeon:

So how do I know that you’re really there?
How can I be sure you have a brain under that hair?
How do I know your skull isn’t full of air?
And how do I know that you think and you care?

Belief. Convincing yourself that it is true,
Even though no facts will come to you.
With this in mind I can control the world
I could be a redhead, blond or bald.

I know nothing, but believe anything.
Religion, maths and science are the same thing
I could never know that God exists
and I don’t truly know maths one bit

But I believe and it is so
I believe and so I know
People exist and so do I
One plus one does not equal five

I think therefore I am
God may be a giant sham
But I don’t really know
Hell may be ready to blow

So I have found my reality
But I won’t forget the ability
That helped with this discovery
(Doublethink is oh so lovely)

I live my life by belief, not religion
I follow possibility, I am not a Christian
But anything is possible! God may be king,
Because I know nothing and believe everything

Alex Herlihy – 2008

 

Formal

Normanhurst-Boys-High-School[1].jpgWe were Sitting down at lunch one day,
Me and Ba, and Scott and Ray,
Being Happy and merry (But never gay)
Until Shank decided to come our way.

The conversation quickly turns,
To that which makes the stomach churn;
Hot chicks, porno, renticle tape
To make shank stop it, we give him a shake.

“Profanities Shank” loudly proclaims Ba,
“Give it a rest” I say, “You’ve gone too far”
“bIsAmused equals false” guffaws semlar,
And Ray just pretends to play a guitar.

Ba scratches his head and thinks of a topic,
one that is safe and will make shank stop it.
Up until then, everything was normal…
“So who are you guys taking to the formal?”

This quickly got everyone’s attention,
I stayed quiet, as if on detention.
I was interested but it did not show,
Everyone became edgy, ready to blow.

Semlar coughed “Sarah”, we whacked him hard,
“She’s in France, are you a retard?”
Ba says that he wants to ask Alanna
This gets met with “Ba’s gonna be a father!”

Ba hides his face and talks to shank
What did they say? I drew a blank.
I became apprehensive as of then
“Who did you say you are asking again?”

His one word answer, as it sunk into my mind
Sent my heart crazy and put shivers down my spine
The one name that I did not want to hear
“Nicole” said shank, confirming my worst fear.

She was the only girl that I wanted to take
And now she’s about to be stolen by Shank.
The gears in my head started to revolve
A plan was formed and I was resolved.

Shank will NOT be stealing my redhead;
He will be taking someone else instead.
This occupied me for the rest of the day
Shank had become my enemy in a way.

As I looked at my options I exclaimed “damn”
I didn’t know whether it would go to plan
But I was possesed and my fingers would shake
In such a frenzy I made a fatal mistake

One email that I don’t want to recall
I was putting too much faith in it all.
With butterflies in stomach, excitement, nervous,
I pushed “send” and the words did their service

I had no idea that I was already dead,
So I felt better then ever as I climbed into bed.
I had to make certain that shank didn’t ask,
His real words are superior to an email from my arse.

The next day was friday, both a blessing and a curse.
After school was youth group at Ba’s Christian church.
This meant I could ask her for real
Shank could too; so it was not ideal

I had a sense of “Carpe Diem”, Sieze the day!
On top of the world? I was feeling this way.
But behind it all there was a sense of betrayal:
No matter what, one of us is going to fail.

For the first time I could see what paths lay before me
Extreme jealousy or sweet victory, which was it to be?
I was determined to see this through
“Damn you Shank, this is all because of you!”

And so there we we’re on friday night
Soccer in the park; it was a vicious fight.
Does shank suspect why I am here?
If he does then I must fear:

If Shank Knows my thoughts then he’ll be using all speed
He will pounce on Nicole like one full of greed.
But if he doesn’t know my plan he will take his time,
Wondering how to word himself, while I make a beeline.

Either way the race is on, for I will not be waiting long.
Besides I’m wearing sneakers, I can’t lose to his thongs.
For Nicole I begin to search around,
I covered quite a lot of ground.

But what is this? I can not find,
the thing that has plagued my mind.
Where on earth could Nicole be?
Surely she can’t be hiding from me.

The night dragged on and it became clear:
Nicole was not going to be coming here.
I was disappointed until I saw the truth
More time to practice not sounding like a goof.

I withdrew from my thoughts and looked around
There was Ba and at Shank he frowned.
Shank had no idea that he was spoiling Ba’s chance
For Ba to man up and ask Alanna to this dance.

I laughed and let the night take me away
The stress was gone until another day.
And so I had a lot of fun
Before I knew it, the night was done.

I woke up and it was saturday
I felt good but the sky was grey
This was a bad omen that I ignored
I had slept so well! I never even yawned

I turn on the computer, I let it load
I waited and waited until the windows logo showed.
I decided to check email but I had totally forgot,
That email of doom that I should have let rot.

I had new messages but none from Nicole
But I didn’t worry. Today won’t be droll.
So I let the morning go flying away,
Before I knew it, it was the end of the day.

Once again I returned to my email
To find a reply from a certain female.
And there it was waiting for me;
The reply of success, surely.

My heart was beating, I didn’t dare
To read that which was written there.
My hand hesitated for I could not bare,
A reply that causes me to tear out my hair.

But then I decide to take the plunge
This sweat making me as wet as a sponge.
I opened the email that decided fate
No more delay. I could not wait.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t go”
This can not be! No no NO!
“I’m sorry, but I can’t go…with you”
No…After what I’ve been through…

The world had ended, Shank had won
I had failed, the game was done.
Silent tears flowed as I retreated to bed
Sadness was swept up into dreams instead

I woke up feeling depressed the next day
I couldn’t believe that it had happened this way.
But I would not go down like this,
I must stop Shank, make him miss.

I come to school, Shank says “Wassup!”
“What a bummer that she didn’t turn up!”
At recess I find Ba talking to Shank
The subject, “Revenge” and some stuff about tanks.

Ba says that the Bible condones vengence
“How ironic, that means I won’t pay repentance”
“Only if the punishment fits the crime”
“Perfect. You know, that sounds just fine”

So I vowed to stay close to Shank, never give him a chance
To ask Nicole to the formal, they would never dance.
To me it seemed an eye for an eye
I couldn’t forsee how this plan died

And so it was Friday night once more.
We were in a church with leaky walls.
This time Nicole did indeed show
What Shank was thinking we could only know.

An awkward triangle we three made
In a river of emotion I did wade
While Shank stood silent trying to think
And eventually, Nicole ran off to get a drink.

Shank stayed away from her for most of the night
I relaxed and watched some bogans fight.
The next thing I know Shank has disappeared
But before I could swear I saw what I feared.

Shank had a look of confidence on his face
As he turned round the corner I was frozen in place
But what came next was not expected
Shank looked strangely affected

He rounded the corner looking resolved
but as he came back the look had dissolved
From within came an exclamation of glee:
“She didn’t pick him and she didn’t pick me!”

To me it came as a great victory
Shank tried to take it happily
His poker face hid what emotion he felt
He eyed me off till my face almost melt.

He was thinking the same as me
“My ranga was stolen by Herlihy”
I laughed and told him of my fail
He seemed to be turning pale.

My thoughts turned inward, as they do
And I got thinking about things undue
This was not a victory at all,
Oh boy did I just drop the ball

Revenge is a dish best served cold.
That’s what I have always been told.
So of course it came as no suprise
When all of a sudden, I realised:

Nicole would not be at our formal
With me or Shank or someone normal.
I couldn’t help feeling that it was all my fault
I should have locked my hard feelings in a vault

I was blind. Look what I’ve done.
Oh sad consequences of my fun.
As I dealt with reality
It finally sunk into me

This formal is more trouble then it’s worth
Time to get more down to earth.
And so I chose to forget these incidents
I did not want to remember, the memory was rinsed

And so I forgot, I could not recall
Until another email brought me back to it all.
Ba gives the facts as blunt as a plank
“Nicole wanted to say yes to Shank.”

Ba haven’t you heard that ignorance is bliss?
Why oh why did you have to tell me this?
I demand that you now let me know
From where this information flows

But Ba is silent, he does not say
Why these tidings came my way
So I leave the mystery unsolved
And once again the memories dissolved

The formal it did come and go
And I did not toss to and fro
I just came and had some fun
Before I knew it, the night was done.

On the bus I sat with Shank
We talked of all things rank
Hot chicks, porno, renticle tape
But I didn’t stop it, It was too late.

Shank was not an enemy then
“I still wish you asked Nicole again,
Even though we had such fun,
I still wish that she had come”

I hear a sigh, he gathers breath
I’m so tired I feel like death
“We’re still learners” is the last thing he said
But I still wish that I had my redhead.

I haven’t seen Shank since then,
And I have taken to the pen
“We’re still learners” lingers in sight
With that in mind I kiss the Formal good night

I finally can let it go
No more of this horrible show
Months have passed since I last cried.
To the formal, a big “Good bye!”

But no, I had a dream last night
You see, it gave me quite a fright
Not because it was a nightmare
But for what was contained in there:

The formal again, I’m back on the boat
With Ba, Alanna and a red goat.
But there is one I was not expecting to see
Nicole! And she is coming towards me.

But before I can say “This must be a dream”
There appears Shank, his smile like a beam.
Hands clasped firmly with Nicoles, I was enraged at the sight
Such a fury that I woke myself up in the middle of the night.

I do not know what this dream meant
But one thing I know as hard as cement:
This formal will not close it’s door
It will plague my mind forever more.

Alex Herlihy – 2008

The Five States of Troll

  1. Sleeping

This state of troll includes troll being asleep and it also includes troll being Awake, because when we are talking about troll, they are practically the same thing.

Rule of troll #1: His eyes are ALWAYS closed. NO exceptions.

Trolls eyes are always closed, forcing him in to a state of permeant slumber. As a result he can’t tell the difference between his dreams and reality. Keep this in mind when interacting with troll and be on guard: There is a high probability that he will mistake you for a mate if you don’t choose your words carefully.

  1. Eating/searching for food

Rule of troll #2: He is always hungry

50% of troll’s schedule is devoted to this stage. For troll, a constant stream of food is vital: Without this food, he will revert to a feral, demonic, beastlike form which consumes everything in sight and has a million penises that ejaculate rainbow coloured plasma which gives aids to anyone it touches. Thus is the essence of state 5, which will be discussed in detail later.

So don’t forget: if ever troll stomps up and demands to see your lunch money, you’d better do it, or you could find yourself suffering a fate much MUCH worse then extortion by troll. Just be happy that he doesn’t eat humans any more – he likes to keep a healthy diet.

  1. Teh secks

This stage encompasses the following: Troll dancing, Troll sex and the Troll mating ritual. Watching troll dance is one of those “Must do it before you die!” things. Essentially, this state of troll involves him putting his “moves” on display, often with extremely dangerous, intensely painful and totally hilarious results.

Troll sex is not exactly troll “sex”. It could be better described as Troll demonstrating his method of penetrating three females at once. Of course the traditional habitat of troll is a boy’s high school, so finding suitable females for the demonstration is quite hard and if isn’t hard then it is most certainly illegal. With no females, troll will proceed to have intercourse with thin air. This provokes reactions such as “Oh Diooooooowwwww!”, “WTF are you doing troll?”, “You stupid, fat ugly troll”, “Keep it in your pants!”, “Oi! You don’t fuck with me!”, “WTF are you doing Semlar?”, “STFU Warna you’re a girl!”, “Oh yeah! Kodsi!”, “Shut up Lemar!”, “That’s what she said!”, “Sssooowwwttaaaaaaaaaa!!!”, “Do I need to call the principal to handle this blatant disregard of the school rules?!?” etc etc etc.

The troll mating ritual is pretty much the same as above, except that it can involve more then three females and has a hell of a lot more variety in the thrusting department. Who would have thought that a rock could move that fast!

  1. Getting beaten up

This is a routine exercise for troll. A day can’t be called a day until troll gets beaten up. If a day goes by without troll getting beaten up at least once, you must have been dreaming. This state most often follows state 3. Troll will attempt to dance and everyone will be horrified and proceed to beat up troll to make him stop it. It is really hard to get a rock to dance; therefore it must be even harder to get a rock to stop dancing. Beating troll up seems to be the only method and it has proven to be the most effective method to date. Maybe getting beaten up is like a backrub for trolls….He certainly seems to enjoy this state: once I could swear I heard him snoring, but it’s hard to tell because his eyes are always closed.

  1. Beast mode

This state of troll is one of those “If you know what it is then you are already dead” kind of things. This state can only be observed if troll is not permitted to eat for 1 hour straight. Doing this is a sure way to get yourself killed and it will result in torn up underwear all over the globe. You can also observe normal people in this state when they are participating in sport. Going beast mode is what some athletes strive to achieve, some actually do! But we don’t hear about them because they get deported to mars. Troll should be kept under close observation whenever he is participating in sporting activities. You never know when that call to the zoo’s “Uncontrollable animal’s team” might be necessary……

248421_10150189197471479_5573522_n.jpg

Troll is in a state of permanent slumber
His eyes remain shut, through lightning and thunder.
The only time he will ever try to wake
Is when he senses a potential mate.

When Troll is asleep then troll is awake
His eyes will never open unless he smells cake.
This side of Troll is not very fun
Because sleeping is the essence of state number one.

Troll is always hungry, he can’t get enough food
If he demands your lunch money you’d best not be rude.
For refusal means a fate worse then extortion by Troll
No one enjoys getting raped; quick, give him some dole.

If Troll is not kept extremely well-fed
He may go beast mode and rough you up in bed.
Run away very fast if Troll points at you
Eating is the energy that fuels state number two.

What part of state three is the most pitiful?
Troll dancing, Troll sex and the Troll mating ritual.
By the way sex is the creation of life have you heard?
It also plays a big part in state of Troll, the third.

Watching Troll dance is torture most foul
His dancing must be met with loud cries of “Diow!”
Whenever Troll threatens to put his moves on display
Be fast and beat him up; don’t let him get away.

It is extremely hard to get a rock to dance
It’s even harder to bash one into a trance.
But don’t give up, it must be done,
If Troll won’t stop dancing then resort to a gun.

A day’s not a day until Troll’s beaten up
To Troll it’s a backrub welcomed with “Yay!” and “Wassup!”
So have no fear, this thing doesn’t roar
Bashing up Troll is welcome in state part four.

The final state? Please something else instead!
If you know what it is you are already dead.
Beast mode is the price that Troll must pay
If he does not eat at all for one whole day.

Keep an eye on troll when he participates in sport,
If he starts to foam at the mouth hold up inside a fort.
Troll becomes hard to kill; he’s said to have nine lives
Make sure to protect yourself; beware of state number five.

Now that you have read all this crap
You should know how to set a Troll trap.
So whenever you’re finding school to be droll
Just have a quick chuckle at the five states of Troll.

Alex Herlihy – 2008

Eating a Bogan at Recess

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It’s always funny to stand back and see
The many strange kinds of personality
That grace our playground at morning tea.

We sit down at recess Ray and I
Laugh our heads off at troll’s always-closed eye
And point at the randoms walking by.

Faz struts around with his shiny shoes
Geo says “CBF” and goes to have a snooze
Isaac gets full marks again: it’s not uncommon news.

And look there’s Popa thrusting his stuff
He feels the need to try and look buff
But cause he acts gay he never appears tough.

There’s also Yutaro banging his head
Though Benco or Nuno may be doing it instead
They are playing with an invisible guitar thread.

Then we hear some “fuck” and a little “shit”
“Wei you bastard! You’ll never get hit”
One of those black guys is pissed off a bit.

Oh no here comes Josh cause the chick isn’t fat
“Yo motherfuckers I’d tap it like that”
“What are you kidding this bitch is chat!”

Of course what follows fills me with glee
“Hey you don’t wanna fuck with me”
To which Lemar replies “Oh yeah Kodsi!”

Then there comes a nice little bash
“Boganing” we call it and it’s a real smash
Chests are extended and two bodies mash.

But attention is stolen and drawn to a shape
It appears to be Faz suffering Nuno rape
Muscles are squeezed while wenises drape.

Oh no, the fun’s over, I think I hear the bell
The divine influence that puts an end to this hell
It takes me to maths, to learn about cricket being parallel.

But before I leave I look back and see
That there are many weird kinds of personality
And they regularly grace our playground at morning tea.

Alex Herlihy – 2008

Rangas and Redheads

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Some people think that it’s bad to be a ranga,
I say such people should be hit with a hammer.

Where would we be if there were no redheads around?
Well for one Ironman would lie dead on the ground;

For who had the power to steal this hero’s heart?
A ranga of course, and she was skilled in her art.

She was Beautiful,

but Iron’s not the only one with a good taste in heads;
Just look at the girl Spiderman keeps among his friends.

Now put these love interests of superheroes to the side,
Rangas can easily hold their own against a villains pride.

Redheads are made of special stuff that no-one understands,
Scientists are confounded by the power a ranga commands.

With mind control and telepathy, they can easily bend a spoon.
Never argue with a mad ranga; It will surely spell your doom.

Oh those Deadly,

lovely, redheads…They must have evolved from an angel,
Hell they even have their own element on the periodic table!

Remember the Fifth element? The one? The divine light?
When asked to describe her, “perfect” seems quite right.

She was a well-read-red-head, of the highest degree,
Not to forget that she knew another language or three.

She was beyond awesome, she could light up a room.
Cutting through shadows with hair as bright as the moon.

For a Bright,

blinding light shines from a readhead’s skull. It stops fears,
defeats darkness and reduces the strongest of evils to tears.

Everyone knows redheads are the definition of “hot”.
One look at a ranga and you’re drooling on the spot.

So do you believe that it’s bad to be a ranga?
If you answered “yes” then you’ll be smacked with a spanner.
For you would never understand this questions correct answer.

And what is the answer?

Redheads;

Bright,

Beautiful,

Deadly.

Alex Herlihy – 2008