If she has any desire to reconcile with me, these are the crimes for which she must confess:
- She must sincerely confess that she is a total and fantastic failure of a mother in absolutely every possible respect, and admit that she is a hypocritical liar, especially when she self-righteously insists that she is “a good mother”
- She must confess that she irrevocably damaged me and ruined my life by putting me on Ritalin and she must acknowledge that it was a mistaken decision on her part.
- She must confess that she is a despicable hypocrite when it comes to drugs.
- She must admit that she blatantly lied to me about drugs as I grew up, telling me that Ritalin is good while cannabis and psychedelics are bad. She must confess that this is total bullshit and that in reality cannabis and psychedelics are completely harmless and beneficial while Ritalin is pure evil.
- She must confess that the whole Catherine episode is completely and entirely her fault, and she must acknowledge that if she had not put me on Ritalin that horrible drama never would have happened.
- She must apologise for demonising me when I sought help for the PTSD due to the sexual abuse I suffered at her hands.
- She must apologise for crushing my hopes and dreams by pushing me into IT, and refusing to support me in pursuing philosophy, languages, mathematics and other things that I am actually interested in.
- She must confess that she is a total fool for prioritising money and material security rather than happiness.
- She must apologise for indoctrinating me into her disgusting perspective on wealth and money and dragging me down into suicidal depression for most of my life.
- She must apologise for the fact that every time she ever helped me there were strings attached; she must apologise for guilt tripping me after every time she helped me.
- She must apologise for being unwilling to come to my assistance, on the one single time where I have actually asked her for help.
- She must apologise for always stealing all the credit for my successes (academic or otherwise), whilst simultaneously absolving herself of any responsibility for my failures.
- She will apologise for constantly threatening to kick me out of home during my childhood and adolescence, thus robbing me of a safe and secure roof over my head.
- She will apologise for treating me as less than a full member of the family, and regularly showing favouritism to the other kids over me.
- She will apologise for blaming me for her divorce and blaming me for the crimes of my father.
- She will apologise for saying such horrible things as “If you end up homeless you are not welcome to stay here”, “if you end up in prison I’m not going to visit you” and “If you ever take drugs I’m never talking to you again”
When she sincerely confesses these things, she will receive my forgiveness and there will be reconciliation. So long as she refuses to acknowledge her crimes, she is dead to me and we will not speak ever again. If her apology in any way contains excuses and self justifications – as is usual for her – her words will be empty, her confession will be worthless and there will be no forgiveness.
There also won’t be any reconciliation until penance is done. Appropriate penance could include:
- Buying me a house.
- Paying off my student debt.
- Buying me a car.
- A large lump sum of over $100,000
Side note: if she’s not going to visit me when I’m in prison, then she shouldn’t expect me to visit her when she is old and decaying in a nursing home, with her hair and teeth falling out. And if she’s not going to help me out when I’m homeless, then she need not expect me to help her out when she finds herself in a crisis situation.
I am not interested in continuing in such an abusive relationship, so so long as she remains unwilling to admit her crimes and seek my forgiveness, I have no mother.